


Tailslide

by Nekhen



Series: Skylines and Landslides [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Post-Star Wars: Bloodline, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Star Wars: Bloodline-Compliant, Star Wars: Poe Dameron-compliant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:35:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21575377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekhen/pseuds/Nekhen
Summary: Leia Organa’s gamble has paid off: the Resistance has won the support of the Chandrilan Ambassador, and with it the desperately-needed funding from the rich Core Planets.Four months after that little spot of bother in the Unknown Territories, ambassador-in-training Helana Seras returns to the Resistance’s Headquarters to discuss the terms of such arrangement with the General.Commander Poe Dameron happens to be there.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Skylines and Landslides [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1554880
Comments: 18
Kudos: 26





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! It’s so lovely meeting you here again <3  
> First of all: my deepest apologies for taking so long to publish this story. I’ve promised I would post the second instalment soon, and yet it took me months on end to get it ready. There is still some tweaking to be done (mostly about formatting), and I guess I’ll go back to fix what I’ve already published at a later time, but I thought it would be nice to give a sign to the lovely people who took the time to read _Thunder Road_ that I’m still alive. I hope this doesn’t feel too rushed, and that you’ll like the story!  
> Secondly, but not less importantly, this instalment is going to be quite short (for my standards, at least). That’s because I consider it something like a bridge between the first instalment and the third, since it ties up nicely all the loose ends I left purposely open in the previous story and paves the road for the next (which will be closer to _Thunder Road_ both in length and plot than to this one).  
> In other words: what you’re about to read is a short, smutty instalment meant to be both introductory for what’s to come next and fun to read. I had fun writing it, so I hope you’ll have just as much fun reading it.  
> It’s a four-part story, and I’ll update roughly once a month (as in, I’ll update once a month, just not on the day on the dot). Which means that the second part should be up just in time for the coming out of _The Rise of Skywalker_ :)  
> Many, many thanks to everyone who took the time to stop by! I love kudos and comments more than I can possibly say, and each and every one of them makes my day a little brighter <3
> 
> Lyrics from "It's Late" by Stevie Nicks. It's short and funny and funky, which I thought made for a perfect sum-up of this story <3

**TAILSLIDE**

_It's late_

_We're 'bout to run out of gas_

_It's late_

_We got to get home fast_

_Can't speed_

_We're in a slow down zone_

_Baby, look at that clock_

_Why can't it be wrong_

The ship was rumbling under my feet. I caught myself before a grimace could twist my face, and schooled my expression into one of benign approval. I was alone in the room, but one of the many things Lady Lilandra had taught me, was that it was more difficult to correct a mindset, once it had sunk its claws.

_Focus on your breathing. Your skin. Focus on the way it pulls on your face when you smile._

I applied every single trick I had memorized, felt every single part of my physical being, focused on everything that wasn’t the glorified death trap in which I was ensnared. By the time I was feeling collected again, the transport had already reached atmo, and was lowering its cumbersome weight towards the ground.

The benign smile was lost into a frown, as I settled lightly my datapad on the table and walked to the small transparisteel window. I had worked tirelessly during the past four months, and even if for every new thing I learnt I felt even more dramatically the depth of my ignorance, I was proud of my results. Pity that I still had to master how to appreciate space travel, or at least how to control my distaste with any modicum of success.

 _Whoever said that the only way to get over one’s fears is to face them_ , I thought, _ought to be shot on sight_. Far from helping in the matter, actually _crashing_ my transport on a derelict Outer Rim planet had turned my hatred for spaceships even deeper. Now I knew for a fact that I was right in my animosity, and that nothing but sure death was to come from space travelling.

Something close to nausea rose in my throat, as I looked out of the window. It was late afternoon, planet-side, but the overcast sky and heavy rains dimmed the brightness of the setting sun. The day looked perfectly miserable, through the thick rivulets that streamed down the transparisteel, and I wondered if I was about to experience the doubtful joys of a wet season in the middle of a blasted jungle. I had forced myself to peer out of the transparisteel window, this time, as we approached the Resistance’s planet, and I had realised with little enthusiasm that whatever mainland could be seen from space seemed to be chocked by thick forests. I had longed for the temperate Chandrilan summer or the artificially mild Coruscanti climate even before we reached atmo, and the pouring rain welcomed us with a slap that had rattled the entire cargo.

The deep green of the planet’s jungles seemed to dash close at dangerous speed, and being able to distinguish the actual shapes of the trees only made it worse. Still, I kept on staring, fighting my rising gorge and the dizziness that went with it. I was already feeling lightheaded when the exposed antenna arrays of the Resistance’s Headquarters came into sight, and I knew that my cheeks were probably as white as the winding spires of Hanna City’s Senate House under the heavy makeup that Hora had layered over my face.

Thoughts of my carefully made-up face brought me to fix mindlessly -and needlessly- the complicated hairdo that Hora had craftily woven my hair into before my departure, which I hoped would last until I got back.

Leaving my handmaid once again behind hadn’t been easy, especially with ‘ _Lady Lilandra demands so_ ’ as the only explanation, but my visit would be so short that even Hora couldn’t really put much heath into her protests. She had looked extremely displeased accompanying me to the main docking bay of Coruscant’s Federal District, but the reasonably new freighter predisposed by General Organa for my travelling had been perfectly adequate for my position, and the captain courteous enough to dispel most of Hora’s worries. I had never told her about the Unknown Territories, or Poe, or my involvement with the Resistance, but sometimes I had the distinct impression that Hora could somehow _smell_ my unfortunate adventure on me, and she was most unhappy that I had been put through such an unseemly bout of excitement. When I told her that I was to leave again to conduct Lady Lilandra’s affairs, off-world, and alone at that, she had clearly smelt another oncoming bout of excitement, which had displeased her even more.

I couldn’t really blame her. This second trip had been mercifully uneventful so far, but I was visiting once again the Headquarters of the infamous Resistance, and that was much more adventurous than most people would consider appropriate for my position. On my part, I didn’t mind the task as much as I previously had–but I would have gladly done without the time spent onboard another blasted ship.

The ship was whirring at full power around me, thankfully reducing speed, by the time I was able to make out the landing pads. They were just as busy as I remembered, rain or no rain, with a random array of pilots, technicians, diplomats and officers bustling about apparently with no direction whatsoever. It hadn’t taken me very long to discover, however, that very little at the base was done without a precise goal. The Resistance had simply not enough resources to waste on the unnecessary, and the time of the meagre personnel was a valuable resource indeed. One that was already stretched dangerously thin.

I closed my eyes as the ground rose to meet us, fighting back unwanted memories.

_Focus, Helana._

I pinched a thin flap of my dress between thumb and forefinger, rubbing them together to feel the consistency of the transparent gauze. I tried to focus on the way it rustled between my pads, on the way the impalpable cloth brushed the back of my hand. I breathed in, very slowly, and out. I almost bit my tongue as the ship touched ground, but I forced myself to breathe through the impact that shook the plasteel. I opened my eyes, and very carefully loosened my fist, examining the lilac gauze bunched up in the narrow space. Once satisfied that no permanent damage had been brought upon my dress by such shameful behaviour, and that every wrinkle had been smoothed down to perfection, I took another deep breath and walked over to my datapad.

The door chimed just as I picked it up with fingers that I had forced into steadiness.

«Come on in» I called, wincing inside at the slight tremor of my voice.

The doors whooshed open to a blue-skinned Pantoran, bound in tight brown leather from head to toe. A thick band of Ruusan copper was set just above his brow, pushing back strands of grey hair that fell down to his ears.

«We have landed, Miss Seras» he needlessly informed me, cocking his head slightly to the side. His smooth, youthful face was covered in golden tattoos, bringing out the colour of his yellow eyes. «Droids are coming onboard as we speak to retrieve your personal effects.»

I nodded my agreement, not trusting my own voice. I had seen very little of the captain, and our short exchanges had been polite enough. He seemed to be a no-nonsense, cold kind of man, and I appreciated that.

Another thing that set that trip starkly aside from the previous one. And from its pilot.

«Thank you, Captain Xhoo» I replied eventually, stashing the datapad into my satchel. I fought the instinct to smooth down the thin gauze of my dress. I knew it flew down to my knees flawlessly–trying to fix inexistent wrinkles would only underline my discomfort, and that would simply not do.

«You are welcome» was the Captain’s terse response. «Farewell, Miss Seras.»

That seemed to be the end of our conversation, as the Captain turned on his heels and stepped out of the room. He was replaced by three heavy-duty droids, all shiny metal and bright vitreous eyes.

«HOW CAN WE HELP» one of them croaked, gesturing vaguely towards itself and its retinue. I pointed at my luggage, which consisted of two crates and my satchel, and the droids immediately set to work.

I draped a light cloak over my dress and raised the hood, before following the droids outside. I had taken into account what I assumed were the general weather conditions -hot and humid- on the planet, as I made my luggage, but I hadn’t foreseen such an extreme situation. The cloak was moderately impervious to water, but intended more as a protection against cool breezes than blasted deluges. As it turned out, I had no need to be protected against cool breezes, since the heath of the evening was close to stifling, but my poor cloak proved to be quite unequal to the task against the merciless rain.

I did my best to ignore the discomfort, as I walked down the gangplank and stepped foot on the fissured duracrete. Thick rivulets swirled around my lilac slippers, swamping my feet in lukewarm water. The rain was battering against my shoulders, soaking my cloak, and threatening to do the same to the hair and dress underneath.

«Miss Seras. It’s nice to see you again.»

The voice was familiar, and I offered a somewhat genuine smile to its owner. I hadn’t spent enough time with Lieutenant Connix to forge any kind of bond with her, but she was precise and professional in her demeanour, and those were traits I held in great respect. She looked perfectly composed even now, standing right in front of one of the maws-like entrance of the compound with a long waterproof poncho covering her head and shoulders.

She was also completely alone. I wasn’t particularly surprised. After my very first arrival to the Resistance Headquarters, which had warranted the presence of General Organa and attracted a small group of onlookers, my presence had become old news pretty quickly. Diplomats of any kind were a pretty standard sight at the base, and the few looks I had attracted at the beginning were in no small part due to my involvement with the last reckless escapade of daredevil Commander Poe Dameron. But daring missions weren’t exactly hard to come by in that place, and some new tale of probably even more foolhardy bravery had soon shoved my own adventure out of the picture.

I couldn’t say I minded. I wasn’t particularly keen on being identified on sight as Poe Dameron’s useless sidekick in one of his idiotic adventures.

«Lieutenant Connix - I offered, tilting my head slightly in acknowledgement - It is nice to be back.»

Especially planet-side. But that I kept to myself.

«General Organa has asked me to show you to your room - Lieutenant Connix carried on - She would like you to join her for dinner in the mess hall. She knows you have much to discuss, and very little time.»

I nodded. We had very little time indeed, since I was scheduled to fly back to Coruscant the day after–barely long enough to report back to General Organa the Ambassador’s final decision. But Lady Lilandra had been very clear on the matter. I was at a crucial point in my education, and she didn’t wish me to be far from her for more than one night. A longer stay might be warranted in the future, if everything went as planned, but in this particular instance nothing more than a few hours would be necessary. I was sure that Lady Lilandra would have asked for me to be shipped back immediately to Coruscant, without even spending the night, if she hadn’t been more than aware of my aversion for space travel.

The thought of being coddled -of my own fears interfering with my education and with Lady Lilandra’s plans- was almost too shameful to be borne. But that was not the time, or the place. I would overcome my disgraceful fears soon, but right then and there I had other things to worry about. Such as drowning right there on the landing pads, for example, before I could even make it to the Resistance Headquarters.

«I would be delighted to dine at her table» I replied, with such a predictable answer that Lieutenant Connix barely tilted her head in acknowledgement. Water streamed down the top of her head, adding to the rivulets streaking the cracked duracrete.

«Please, follow me» she said in response, swiftly turning on her heels.

I went after her, droids in tow. The gigantic gates of the compound loomed for a moment over me from the flanks of the low hills they had been dug into, and then the dimming glow of the setting sun was taken over by harsh artificial lights, and the dusty smell of recycled air replaced the thick smell of rain and wet soil. I kept my face carefully blank, forcing my mind to push back every unwanted memory of dark, collapsing caves. The Resistance Headquarters were dry, at least. It wasn’t much, but it was _something_.

Water dripped onto the duracrete, as Lieutenant Connix lowered the hood of her poncho on her shoulders. Her blond locks were tightly bound in two buns at either side of her head, and I wondered with pure dread at the state of my own hair as I did the same. The Lieutenant didn’t seem to care at the wet trail she was leaving behind her, but I was acutely aware of the dripping hem of my cloak dragging against the duracrete, and the squelching sounds my soggy slippers made at every step. It took everything I had to keep the embarrassment off my face, as I followed her into the bowels of the compound.

The room I had been assigned to turned out to be the same as the last time. I recognised the way well before we got there, although it stood to reason–my previous stay had lasted an entire week, and I had plenty of time to get used to the winding corridors, if not to the oppressing feeling of being buried deep into the ground. Embarrassingly enough, General Organa had seemed to catch up pretty quickly on my dislike for underground facilities, and a number of leisurely walks outside the compound had been scheduled for the rest of my visit. The one upside of the entire matter was that, by the end of the week, my knowledge of the Resistance Headquarters had been accurate enough that I had been able to put together an extremely thorough report for Lady Lilandra.

«General Organa thought it best to put you up in lodgings you are already familiar with» Lieutenant Connix needlessly pointed out, tapping gently the plaque on the wall. The doors opened with a whoosh, and suddenly I was brought back to four months before–to my very first mission, and to something else, something darker. To the time I almost died, lost on a planet beyond everything I knew. And to the touch of skin on skin.

_Here you are. That’s you, that’s all you._

A whisper in the back of my mind, of a voice I hadn’t heard ever since. For a moment, I allowed myself to wonder if he was at the base, if he still remembered me. Then I promptly took those silly thoughts and shoved them as deep as I could inside my skull.

_Sentimentality. Shame on you._

«The General is very kind - I forced myself to answer, when the silence stretched for too long - They are as lovely as always.»

I stepped inside, familiarising myself once again with the room. The double bed, the small vanity with the cracked mirror, the huge wooden closet–everything was just as I remembered. Even the coverlet sprawled over the bed looked familiar–the design was slightly different, but the corny woodland theme and the coarse texture were enough to spark a resemblance.

The place appeared unchanged since my last visit, and I found that strangely soothing. I didn’t know exactly why. The idea that I could somehow feel proprietary of some lodging quarters that didn’t even belong to me, lost on a planet far away from even the most isolated civilized corner of the galaxy, was simply ludicrous. And yet, there I was–basking in the thought that no one had touched _my_ room while I was away.

Ridiculous.

«Do you need help to get settled, Miss Seras?»

Lieutenant Connix’s voice brought me back to a more sensible state of mind. I smiled at her, shaking my head slightly.

«Thank you, Lieutenant, but I think I can manage this time» I replied, waving at the droids to bring my meagre luggage inside. Lieutenant Connix stepped aside, and watched as the droids obediently set my two crates on the ground and the satchel on top of the set of drawers. Thankfully, the crates were vacuum-sealed, and the satchel waterproof. It would not do to have a drenched, unusable pad.

«Dinner is in two hours - the Lieutenant announced - I am to come back here and fetch you.» A small smile bloomed on her delicate features. «Dinner time can be a pretty messy affair here, if you remember.»

I shrugged, offering a somewhat more genuine smile back at her.

«Oh, I remember. But I think I will be able to navigate the mess hall all by myself. You should enjoy dinner with the others.»

I also remembered how much people there appreciated straightforwardness and cordiality, and I decided that it was the perfect occasion to apply some of that fabled charm Lady Lilandra had been trying to drill into me for the last few months.

 _There is a time and a place for everything in diplomacy_ , she had told me. _What is proper on one planet, might be insulting on another. You need to learn how to bend._

So, bend I would. I had no idea how well though, since Lieutenant Connix’s answering glance seemed a little too long and too surprised for my tastes. But I was on a learning curve, after all.

«As you wish, Miss Seras - she agreed eventually, with a little bow of her blond head - I’ll leave you to your room.»

I thanked her again, trying to be as friendly as possible, but I breathed more freely once she was gone, droids in tow. Openness came to me much less spontaneously than lofty propriety, and I supposed I would have to work hard on that. But now I was alone, I was planet-side, and I had two hours to get ready for the evening.

One hour and forty minutes later I was sitting in front of the cracked mirror, fixing the hanging earrings I had fished out of one of my crates. After a much-needed shower I had opted for another dress made entirely of black gauze, but much thinner than the previous one. It was completely see-through, save for the black lace band on my chest and the thick embroideries that covered my groin. The lace band binding my breasts was thin enough that barely the nipples were covered, but so tight that it kept my breasts in check, if not efficiently hidden. Embroidered black lace also covered my collarbones and my shoulders, draping down into two thick bands down to my elbows. All the jewellery was in solid gold, from the earrings to the engraved bracelets to the thin belt that kept the dress tight under my breasts. The makeup I had chosen was of the same hue–gold glittered over my eyelids, and gold glimmered on my lips.

I watched the result of my efforts with a satisfied smile, as I interwove a delicate golden band into my black hair, still plated in the intricate pattern of hanging braids that Hora had so skilfully styled before my departure. I had been relieved to ascertain that not even the fury of the elements could challenge Hora’s handiwork, and the piping-hot shower had done the rest–working wonders against the humidity that the heavy rain had managed to push down to my bones. I was feeling more like myself by the minute, warm and dry and glowing. I pondered a short while about adding a thick golden collar, but eventually I decided against it. A thin, hanging necklace with a golden reproduction of the planet Chandrila as seen from open space resting between my almost naked breasts was more appropriate for the occasion.

Decked in black and gold, I walked through the winding corridors, generally ignored by people and droids alike. It was a nice feeling. I hated being dismissed when I was expressing an opinion, but not being constantly in the centre of everyone’s attention felt somewhat relaxing.

The mess hall was exactly as busy as I remember. People seemed to bustle about from every direction, precariously holding plasteel trays full of smoking-hot food. There was little to no respect for hierarchy in the fundamental task to get one’s belly full, and every man was for himself. Officials and diplomats and technicians and soldiers were all mingling in one huge cacophonic pot, and I managed to find General Organa in the heaving chaos only because I knew where her table was. I picked my way carefully, trying to avoid collisions with full trays or people tramping on my feet. I was wearing black slippers decorated with golden threads, and the delicate bulabirds embroidered on the upper sides didn’t need the stamp of a pilot’s boot on them to complete the look.

General Organa’s table was at the very end of the mess hall, as usual. It took me a moment to spot her–she was sitting on the bench and talking with someone standing very close, which covered her almost completely from sight. My attention being split between the table and the sea of people that were currently impeding my way slowed me down just enough that I was almost there when I finally recognized the person General Organa was talking to. He was turning his back to me, yet the wavy mass of black hair was impossible to mistake.

I blinked, taken aback, but by then General Organa had spotted me as well.

«Well, look who’s here» she said, looking up at Poe with a crocked smile. She was wearing her usual attire -a practical uniform died in various shades of brown, unassuming to a fault-, and her dark hair was knotted into a bun firmly bound onto her nape. «Miss Seras. It’s been a while.»

I knew by then that General Organa could be as formal as her former princely title suggested, if she wished to, but she was being familiar on purpose. She knew that I navigated the frosty formalities of diplomatic exchanges much better than blunt cordiality, and I had come to the conclusion that it amused her to throw me off-balance. I also had a sneaky suspicion that she disliked formalities altogether.

«General Organa» I greeted her, bowing my head respectfully. «Commander Dameron.»

I tried to keep a benign expression fixed on my face, even with the very blatant, very charged once-over Poe gave me. He was staring with wide eyes, as though he wasn’t sure I was really there. Especially my breasts, it seemed like.

«Helana» he started, before remembering his manners. «Miss Seras.»

His voice was just as deep as I remembered, with the same slight lilt to it. His tanned cheeks were smooth, but the rolled-up sleeves of his white shirt underlined the dark hairs covering his forearms. The sight sent a shiver down my spine. Working with Lady Lilandra was widening my horizons, but even if I had seen more than my usual share of bearded men in the past four months, there was still some kind of forbidden thrill to Poe’s barbarous habit that belonged to him and him alone.

«I trust you are well» I said to Poe, a little stilted. I wasn’t sure of my footing, so I decided to stick to what I knew.

My tone seemed to confuse him somewhat. He looked sheepishly at me, dark eyes peering at my face from under thick black lashes.

«I am. I-I thought about sending you a holo, but... - he hesitated, then started again, to my absolute horror - I wasn’t... I wasn’t sure you wanted to hear from me, so...»

«Your concern is very much appreciated» I cut him short, hoping he would not carry on with that terrible display of sentiment in front of General Organa and a table full of politicians and other people I was supposed to work with. General Organa’s vaguely interested gaze was already mortifying enough. «But I can assure you, I am very well. I recovered fully from our adventure, and you need not have worried about me.»

It was a dismissal much more brutal than what I had in mind, but I couldn’t stand the idea of talking about _feelings_ in public, of all things. I could appreciated that my presence had somewhat startled Poe, leading him to an unwise course of action, but I wasn’t going to let him make that mistake for the both of us.

Poe looked taken aback at my stark rebuttal. He blinked at me, then glanced away, seemingly realising all of a sudden that we weren’t alone in the crowded room.

«Well - he said, evenly enough, even if his expressive face was twisted into a scowl - I’m glad to know you’re well, Ambassador. I guess you have some politics to talk about with the General. I’ll leave you to it.»

There had been something akin to distaste in the way he had said _politics_ , as though the word had left a foul taste into his mouth, and I was more vindictive than I liked to admit.

«Still in training, Commander» I answered, remembering every single time he had used the title of Ambassador to tease me, in and out of bed. Poe seemed to remember too. His scowl only tightened.

«Of course. Forgive me, _Miss_ Seras.»

I bowed my head, feeling the abrupt change of mood in the conversation like an electrostatic current. Something invisible, fizzling with pent-up energy.

«No apologies required.»

Poe looked wounded, and angry. His black eyes were shining, and he was holding his chin high. Suddenly, I wanted nothing more than to reach out to him and grab a fistful of black hair, dragging him down for a kiss. And what a glorious kiss that would be–deep and wet and full of teeth.

With a last, stilted nod, Poe bid us goodbye. I watched him wade into the throng of people without as much as a backward glance, stalking his way to a neighbouring table. The round of loud cheers that welcomed his return was enough to bring back a smile to his face, and even the rigid set of his shoulders seemed to loosen up as he climbed over the bench and took his place.

«I suggest you get yourself something to eat, Miss Seras, or you won’t find even the trays.»

The somewhat amused voice of General Organa brought me back to the reality of my situation, and to the task that I was supposed to be carrying out. I fought a blush, realising that I had been staring at Poe for much longer than what would be considered proper. Lucky enough, no one else at the table seemed to care.

«Yes, of course - I answered, struggling to get a grip on myself - I will be right back.»

«There is no rush. I’ll keep a place for you.»

«Thank you, General Organa.»

She waved me off together with my thanks, and I set out to get myself something edible for dinner. The line for the trays was long and messy, and it took me almost half an hour to reach the food and get some for myself. As I waited, alone and surrounded by people I barely knew, I kept hearing Poe’s voice like an echo–boorishly noisy, at times, but bright and enthusiastic and always rippling with a laugh. I couldn’t help looking for him every time he was being particularly loud, and the mop of black hair was never too far from my sight. He stood up at some point, planting his foot on the bench and trying some kind of weird plastic pose that he seemed to find particularly grand. The table exploded into a volley of cheers and whistles that could probably be heard from the other side of the galaxy.

General Organa was deep in conversation with a tall woman wearing a tight azure dress, by the time I got back to her table. The woman looked familiar even from afar–she had piercing blue eyes and curly lilac hair, cut short and held tight against her skull by a silver band. She hadn’t stayed long during my last visit, but General Organa had introduced me to her, and I recognised her immediately.

«Colonel Holdo - I greeted the officer, tilting my head respectfully - It is a pleasure to meet you again.»

«Miss Seras. Back with us, I see.» Colonel Holdo’s icy blue eyes did not waver, as she took me in. She was cordial enough, but there was steel in those eyes, and the same obsession that I could see sometimes in General Organa’s. Pitiless, burning obsession. A dangerous thing. «I hope you are bringing good news with you.»

I smiled at her, grasping at Lady Lilandra’s soothing voice to guide me. I had no intention of answering that, but I didn’t know how to steer clear of such a blatant question without using one of those diplomatic niceties that both women considered barely more than garbage. I had little choice on the matter, so I chose what I knew best.

«That is for General Organa to decide» I answered, modestly enough.

Colonel Holdo scoffed at me, but there was the faintest ghost of a smile on her lips.

«Still singing the same pretty songs» she chuckled, rising up on her feet. She looked even taller like that, slim and delicate like a long-legged assassin-spider. And just as deadly. «I’ll leave you to Leia. She has more patience than me in dealing with diplomatic nothings.»

Colonel Holdo raised her dress up to her knees, and hopped off the bench without missing a beat. Then she smoothed her gorgeous blue gown back into place, completely unfazed by the display, and headed off with little more than a nod in our direction.

General Organa chuckled to herself. She was already halfway through her meal, and gestured vaguely towards the vacant place at her right.

«Please, sit down. Your food will get cold.»

I did as I was told, setting down my half-full tray first and then hesitating for a moment, before raising my gown and climbing on the bench. No one seemed to notice. No one cared.

«General Organa...» I started, as soon as I was seated.

«Eat, first - she stopped me, before I could get any further - Whatever you have to say, it can wait for another half hour.»

I faltered for a moment, before nodding my agreement and following her directions. The food seemed even plainer, after dining for four months with ambassadors and senators in Coruscant’s finest restaurants, but it wasn’t too bad, and always better than ship rations. There was no fine wine to accompany the meal, but the water had the rich taste of nature to it, which I sorely missed on Coruscant, where everything was synthetic or imported from less populated planets. It wasn’t something I thought I would be missing, after the caves on Rokran, but there was much about that particular trip that didn’t seem to be amenable to be filed away in sensible and logical boxes.

By the time I was done eating, General Organa had already got rid of her empty tray and was sipping Ch’hala tea from a chipped mug, gazing into the distance. She seemed so far away that I hesitated to break the silence.

«General Organa...» I murmured eventually, trying to get her attention without startling her overly much.

I needn’t have worried. Her sharp brown eyes were on me the moment I opened my mouth, completely focused.

«What did Lady Lilandra say?» she asked, brutally, almost snappishly. Whatever she had been thinking about, it didn’t seem to be a happy thought.

«She has agreed to help you» I replied, slightly taken aback by her belligerence.

General Organa seemed to deflate somewhat, as my answer sank in. She was too well-trained to let it show, but I could see the way the frown on her forehead smoothed down a little, or the line around her eyes softened. Relief, as plain as daylight.

«Tell me.»

I bowed my head slightly, reporting faithfully the rest of the message.

«Lady Lilandra was favourably impressed by my report. She believes that what you are doing here has meaning, especially... - I hesitated for a moment, before soldiering through - ...especially in the light of my own experience in the Unknown Territories. What I saw has convinced her that the First Order is indeed a threat, and if the Republic will not do anything about it, then she considers her duty to support whoever is willing to defend the galaxy.»

There was something unsettling in the way General Organa was staring at me. She wasn’t wearing any make-up, but her eyes looked huge and very, very dark in the artificial lights.

«You are the one I have to thank, then.»

The huge dangling earrings brushed my neck, as I shook my head.

«I did nothing of importance, General Organa, aside from giving Lady Lilandra an honest account of my experience–both here at the base and in the Unknown Territories. You have nothing to thank me for.»

General Organa shrugged slightly at my answer, but her eyes were still fixed on me, unwavering and as piercing as laserfire.

«As you wish. Anything else?»

«Lady Lilandra is already at work to find support for the Resistance on Coruscant, and hopes to be able to send you both funds and physical resources during the next few months.»

General Organa let out a deep exhale, as though she had been keeping her breath for a long, long time.

«And how are we to keep in contact? - she went on, mindlessly fingering the rim of her chipped mug - From the very few communications we have received from her, she didn’t seem very willing to be openly associated with us.»

«Lady Lilandra is the Chandrilan Ambassador on Coruscant. Her only task is to maintain a friendly relationship between our planets, mediating disputes and securing an open and profitable commercial route. She is not supposed to use her political influence for anything other than that.» I took a small pause, pushing my tray away. «She is surely not supposed to use her connections to finance a politically charged and controversial organization such as the Resistance. She does not wish to be associated with you in any way, and she will not communicate with you directly ever again.»

General Organa seemed to mull over that for a moment, before capitulating with a small sigh.

«It makes sense. Lady Lilandra is a cautious woman.»

There was something a little acidic into her voice, as though she had heard that song a little too often to care much for it anymore, but I decided to ignore it. She seemed tired, all of a sudden. I decided to ignore that too. I didn’t think General Organa would take lightly being coddled, or being told in any way that she was showing weakness.

«I will be your communication channel. Any non-sensitive information will be dealt through holovids, while every discussion of present or future help will be held in person.» I did my best to keep my face carefully blank. «I will come here periodically to discuss every point you or Lady Lilandra will need to sort out. I will stay as long as you need me to, and you are to consider me at your full disposal.»

I was going to be used as a glorified courier, yet I didn’t mind the task–there was so much I could learn from the experience that I was more than willing to lend my help. The frequent trips that would be dragging me from one side of the galaxy to the other during that time, of course, were much less appreciated.

«Lady Lilandra would also prefer to avoid direct transmissions between you and me - I carried on, forcing myself to move past that train of thought - She places little trust in holovids, and Senator Rovan offered his help in the matter. Lady Lilandra wishes for every communication to pass through him, who will then relay it to me. Holovids should not contain anything more than a time and a location for our next encounter, or messages so urgent that cannot wait for me to receive them in person.»

General Organa nodded her agreement once again. If she thought that Lady Lilandra was being exceedingly cautious, or downright paranoid, she did not show it.

«Very well. You can report back to Lady Lilandra that I accept her conditions.» A little pause, as though General Organa was pondering about the best way to convene her sentiment. «And tell her... tell her that we all are most grateful to her. Whatever help she might be able to send our way will be extremely appreciated, and she can be assured that it will be put to good use.»

I tilted my head, memorizing her words. I would relate them back to Lady Lilandra as accurately as possible.

«I will - I promised - I will also give you Senator Rovan’s coordinates, so that you may open a communication channel whenever you need it.»

«Thank you, Miss Seras.» There was a strange intensity in her dark eyes, as General Organa stared at me straight in the face. «Your help, as well, shall not be forgotten.»

A pretty reply seemed to be in order, after such gracious gratitude, but nothing that General Organa wouldn’t find ludicrous came to mind. Eventually, I went for a small bow of my head, which apparently was more than enough.

«Dinner was lovely, as usual - I said instead, lying only to a point - I shall head to the communications room straight away.»

General Organa’s scoff, at my empty compliments, was expected–but she couldn’t really expect me to drop all the formal niceties that had been drilled into me since I was five years old. Not yet, at least.

«No need to rush - she added then, like an afterthought - You are staying the night, if I’m not mistaken. Lieutenant Connix should have already shown you to your room.»

«She did.»

«You can give us the Senator’s coordinates in the morning. I will have Lieutenant Connix bring you to the communications room before escorting you to your transport back to Coruscant.» There was a small, almost wistful smile on her lips when she rose on her feet. «You are young still. You should spend some time with people your own age. And I bet that your training only provides you with the company of wrinkly diplomats and bitter old-timers such as myself.»

I hesitated, once again taken aback by her bluntness. I had no idea how to answer that. She was not wrong regarding my training, but I did not resent the task. I could learn a great deal from people with her experience, and that was what I was supposed to do right now–absorbing as much as possible, like a sponge.

General Organa replied with a snort, when I told her as much.

«Lady Lilandra taught you well, Miss Seras. But you should still take advantage of the occasion. You won’t be young forever, and you will have so little time for leisure in your future that you should learn as soon as possible to take every chance you have to celebrate, even the smallest.» General Organa hopped off the bench and aimed another rueful smile at me, mug still clutched in her hands. «You have nowhere to be, right now. Enjoy it.»

I mulled over her words for a little while, after she was gone. I had planned to go back to my room and read through some material given me by Lady Lilandra -some obscure Clone-Wars-era legal dispute between Chandrila and Coruscant about excise duties-, but I was already halfway through it, and I had the entire return trip to finish it off.

General Organa was right, I realised–I had nowhere to be, right then, and nothing to do. The concept was so strange that for a moment I felt at a loss. I couldn’t remember the last time I hadn’t been actively pursuing something, but simply enjoying myself for the sake of it.

That was not entirely true, though. I _could_ remember. It had been four months before, when I chased down my pleasure like a nexu in a Cholgannan forest, dragging a certain reckless pilot along for the ride.

Perhaps, I could do it again.

Poe’s laughter, coming obnoxiously loud and slightly drunk from the nearby table, seemed to echo my thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit late for Christmas, but, as promised, here is the new chapter! Many of the characters included in this update come from the _Star Wars: Poe Dameron_ comic book series, which I really like and warmly recommend.  
> I truly hope you folk will enjoy this bit of silliness <3

Although the array of people sitting at the table was just as varied as anywhere else in the compound, it was easy to see that pilots made the vast majority. For the most part, reasonably unassuming attires had been chosen for dinner time, but some of them were wearing bright orange jumpsuits, and others dirty overalls still stained with mineral oil and grease. Yet, it was something else entirely to give them away–something much subtler than that, like an aura, a sense of belonging that seemed to bind all pilots together. Something that reminded me of Poe, in a way. The certainty of being part of something greater than themselves, like a fraternity of sort.

I scoffed under my breath. A bunch of hero-worshipping fools convinced to be part of some sort of big family, ready to die for the cause. Admirable.

I had no difficulty spotting Poe amongst the others. Even if he was wearing adequately clean civilian clothes, his voice carried louder than anyone else. He was also gesticulating pretty wildly, and his laugh was deep and noisy and utterly spontaneous. I didn’t know how anyone could toe the line between obnoxious and charming like that, but he made it seem almost effortless.

A few glances lingered on me as I approached the table, and then more than a few. Those sitting closer to Poe, in particular, seemed to find my presence exceptionally interesting. A huge man with thick dark hair and an even thicker dark beard lifted a brow at me, and elbowed the slight blond woman beside him to draw her attention.

I decided to ignore the blatant amusement painted all over their faces, and walked right up to Poe. He had his back to me, and was in the middle of some sort of narrative when he realised that everyone’s attention had been somehow diverted from him. He stopped mid-sentence and turned his head, just as I placed a hand on his shoulder. He felt warm and firm under my palm, and something sharp, something laughably close to _longing_ , darted through my flesh at the touch. I pushed back the onslaught of memories -memories of touches in the dark and biting kisses in full light- and moulded my lipstick-stained lips into what I hoped was a friendly smile.

«Good evening, Commander» I greeted him, low but clear enough. I had no idea about what I was doing, but I was going to give it my best shot. Lady Lilandra had tried to teach me how to mingle, after all. It was high time I put those teachings to good use. After a fashion. «Would you mind if I joined you?»

Poe stared at me with eyes as wide as saucers, clearly at a loss for words. The fact that my almost naked breasts were exactly at eye level, apparently, was not helping his startled and alcohol-addled mind to come up with a suitable answer.

The bearded man sitting in front of him, however, didn’t seem to share his confusion.

«Sure you can! - he replied, aiming a huge grin at me - Every friend of Poe is our friend.»

I didn’t know if I fell into _that_ particular category, but I wasn’t about to protest if I could get something out of it. I slipped my hand off Poe’s shoulder and tilted my head in gratitude, aiming a friendly smile at anyone at the table who had bothered to pay any attention to the exchange. I did my level best to ignore the not-quite-there tingle in my palm, almost like a phantom touch, as my flesh remembered with obstinate accuracy the feeling of Poe’s shoulder against my skin. I didn’t completely succeed.

«Ziff, make space for the lady - carried on the bearded man - You are the Chandrilan Ambassador, right? The one that got stuck with Poe in the Unknown Territories.»

I liked that expression, I decided. Stuck with Poe. It sounded quite right.

«That would be me, yes» I chuckled. The ashen-haired young pilot on Poe’s left stole a quick glance at my half-naked breasts, before making some place for me to sit between him and his commander. «Although I am not an Ambassador, just yet. I am still in training.»

«What should we call you, then?» asked the blond girl seated at the bearded man’s side.

That was a good question. I thought about it for a moment, just as I evaluated the narrow space between Poe and the other pilot on the bench.

 _Different standards for different occasions_ , Lady Lilandra had said.

Nothing good would come from overthinking, in that particular instance. And the best way to avoid overthinking was to act.

_Let’s give it a try._

«You may call me Helana» I replied sweetly, rucking my gown up to my knees and climbing over the bench. I could feel the weight of Poe’s eyes on me, wide open and disbelieving, but I blatantly ignored him. Pretending that everything was alright and that there was nothing to be shocked about seemed the best course of action.

It took me some wriggling, but eventually I was snugly seated between Poe and his young pilot, Ziff. I knew that recalling the memory would lead to utter mortification, later on, but right then and there I was too focused on the situation at hand to really care.

Lady Lilandra had truly taught me well.

«Helana, then - the bearded man stated, grin never wavering - I’m Wexley, but you can call me Snap. Everyone does.»

I didn’t think I would, but I filed away the information all the same.

«Karé Kun» said the blond woman at Wexley’s side, looking at me up and down with a considering gaze. She seemed to find the entire conversation incredibly amusing, for some reason. Perhaps it had something to do with Poe’s open-mouthed stare. I was hitching to tell him to close his mouth. It was most unbecoming.

«I’m Ziff, - said the ashen-haired pilot sitting at my left - and Poe won’t shut up about his heroic mission in the Unknown Territories. So please, _please_ give us something to tease him about. _Anything_ , really.»

«Heroic? - I asked, turning towards Poe - Is that so?»

Poe scoffed, downing a gulp of whatever concoction was swirling into his plasteel cup. Teasing him was apparently enough to drag him out of his wide-eyed staring contest, although the glance he levelled on me was suspicious to say the least.

«Don’t listen to him. He likes being annoying» he grumbled. «And my glass is empty again.»

«You should know the way to the bar, by now» Wexley snickered, getting a deep scowl for his troubles.

«As if I was going to leave Helana alone with the lot of you» Poe scoffed, throwing another sceptical glare at me. «If you really are her. The snotty Ambassador I know would never be... this. Whatever _this_ is.»

«You give the best compliments, Commander - I purred, arching a brow - And as usual at the very best times.»

Poe scoffed again, but didn’t reply.

«Would you like anything to drink?» he asked instead, grabbing his empty glass. «I’ll get you something from the bar.»

I thought about it for a moment. The sensible thing to do was to choose something alcohol-free that would allow me to keep my wits about myself, but I realised that I didn’t want to do the sensible thing for once. I wanted to try something new, something hazardous. I wanted a challenge. And I quite liked that shocked expression on Poe’s face. It was a dangerous whim to follow, but I couldn’t really help it. The temptation was simply too strong. It had teeth to bite, and they were sunk all the way into my skin.

«I would be happy to drink whatever you are having, if it is not too much trouble» I replied, tilting my head just enough to sway the golden earrings dangling from my lobes.

I was not disappointed. Poe’s disbelieving glare was most satisfying. The sweet smile I treated him with only deepened his scowl.

«You - he growled, very slowing, as though he was struggling to wrap his mind around the concept - You want some disgusting pilot’s swill. You. Ambassador Helana Seras. Really?»

I shrugged, lifting a hand to my temple and pretending to push a wisp of black hair behind my ear. As if there could ever be a wisp of hair capable of escaping Hora’s implacable skills.

I stared at Poe as innocently as I knew how.

«Still in training - I bit back, smiling at him ever so sweetly - And yes, I would like to try some local flavours. I might find them more palatable than you think.»

The double entendre was so blatant that for a moment a blush threatened to explode on my cheeks–not for the flirting in itself, since a diplomat was supposed to be able to flirt their way through a discussion, if no other option was available, but for the inexperienced clumsiness of its delivery. Poe, however, just kept staring at me as though I was concealing a Dathomirian black snake under my gown, even though I would have been hard pressed to find any effective hiding place behind all that gauze, as transparent as it was. He had never been particularly quick at catching subtleties on a good day, after all. I couldn’t really hope he would get any better at it after a few drinks.

«There is alcohol in this» Poe explained then, very slowly and very clearly, as though he wasn’t really sure I got that much from the situation.

I arched a brow.

«So I presumed.»

«And you want it anyway? - Poe went on, staring valiantly at my eyes instead of my half-naked breasts - Are you sure?»

I shrugged again. Alcohol was a gamble, but it wasn’t anything new–not by then, at least. Part of my training was actually dedicated to building some tolerance to moderate percentages of alcohol, and I had got into the habit of drinking a glass of emerald wine every evening before bed. Alcohol was called the social lubricant for a reason, and it was considered rude to refuse a drink or a toast without serious and renowned medical reasons. I preferred to be able to drink a glass or two and keep my wits about myself than spreading rumours about my personal health, so I had decided to work on my tolerance. After four months, not only I was pretty satisfied with the results, but I had also taken a liking to the entire ritual. The taste of alcohol wasn’t entirely disagreeable to me, even if I had no doubt that whatever Poe was about to bring me was nothing like the refined emerald wine that Lady Lilandra periodically had shipped all the way from Lothal. But it was training, nonetheless. Practical as well, directly on site. And fun, on top of it. Even if only for the look of suspicious shock painted all over Poe’s expressive features.

«It has not killed you, yet - I answered, smirking slightly at him - I might not be as bold as the bets pilot in the Resistance, but I am willing to give it a try. If I might be so ambitious.»

Kun snorted from her seat, while Wexley watched us in grinning fascination. Poe’s suspicious glare deepened, as though I had just turned into a Neimoidian trying to sell him tin for iridium.

«Fine - he eventually capitulated - Not taking the blame if you die of alcohol poisoning or puke your guts out, though.»

I chuckled, demurely hiding my smirk behind my hand.

«I will do my outmost to survive the ordeal, Commander.»

The vexed look that I got for my trouble was worth the entire evening, in my opinion. Without dignifying that of an answer, Poe grabbed his glass and stood on his feet.

«So, you _are_ leaving her with us, after all» Kun laughed, fingering her own chipped mug with carefully clipped nails. «We’ll try our best not to damage her.»

«Or your reputation» Ziff piped in.

«Such as it is» Wexley finished, with a meaningful leer.

Poe climbed off the bench, gracing everyone present with a glare. Myself included, for good measure.

«I expect to find Helana exactly where I left her, uninjured and in one piece» he declared, tottering slightly on his feet. He quickly secured his footing, looking even more vexed. He was drunker than I had assumed. The though sent a ribbon of excitement down my spine.

«Oh, don’t worry, Poe - Ziff snickered, lifting his own glass for a toast and almost spilling its content on me as he wobbled - We’ll make sure she doesn’t run away.»

«And without you here, I am pretty sure that no one will try to crash the bench» I added, blinking innocently up at him. Wexley snorted loudly, and Kun snickered into her fist.

«The girl stayed with you long enough indeed» an alien joined in, from the opposite side of Poe’s temporally vacated seat. «I’m L’ulo L’ampar.»

«Helana» I answered, without even thinking. The alien’s unblinking eyes were a little unsettling, red and slit through by on horizontal pupil, but his lipless mouth was pulled into what looked like a smile. He was quite tall, with a slim built, and his drab civilian clothes could not hide his bright green skin.

«Go, Poe. I will keep an eye on her.»

The idea of being looked after like a child made me bristle, cracking the more or less spontaneous good humour I was showing off. I fought to keep my smile in place, but Poe’s satisfied smirk told me that whatever results I had managed to get, I had tottered just enough for him to peek through. Such intolerable sloppiness on my part.

«I’ll be back in a star-burnt second with your drink, Miss Seras» Poe grinned. I struggled to keep my answer level, but I slipped into a more familiar snootiness.

«Thank you, Commander.»

«At your service, future Ambassador» Poe grinned back, delivering a little mock bow to greater effect. I ignored the display, and Poe set off, stable enough on his feet and clearly very satisfied with himself.

«So, Helana - Wexley said, smirk toned down to a more friendly smile - How’s life in the Inner Rim?»

I laughed, feeling a little out of my element now that Poe was gone and everyone’s attention was trained on me. Even L’ampar had switched his focus from the Togruta he was discussing with to me, studying my face with those unsettling eyes of his.

«I spend most of my time studying - I admitted - The Academy prepared me to be a diplomat on a galactic level, but since I am to work to secure amicable ties between Chandrila and Coruscant, I spend most of my time learning about their shared history and memorizing the minutiae of their legal standing to each other.»

«That sounds... incredibly boring» Ziff butted in, staring at me with slightly dazed eyes. «I thought your job was a little more exciting than that. General Organa was a Senator, after all.»

«No one is a politician quite like Leia Organa» was my answer, true on more level than one. If there was some sneering on the side, it was hopefully well hidden. I was a proper politician, and I disliked the negotiating-with-blasters-at-hand brand of General Organa’s diplomacy. Whatever I thought of her and her mission.

«A toast to that, and to the General» L’ampar proposed, soon joined by everyone else. I was spared the embarrassment of jumping in with feigned enthusiasm, however, since I had no drink yet to toast with.

«So, Poe told us about the little accident the two of you had on your way here» Kun butted in, once she had drained her mug. Wexley picked it up, together with his own empty glass, and wandered off towards the bar. He was much steadier on his feet than Poe had been. «You met some Troopers.»

My breath seemed to solidify into my throat, as I remembered the Stormtroopers–and the small black figure standing amongst them. _Death in a mask_. I looked down, wishing suddenly for a drink in my hand, so that I could do something, _anything_ to take time. I didn’t want to remember.

«Yes, we did» I forced through my teeth. «It was strange. Like meeting a legend.»

«We are truly to blame, if the Empire has become nothing more than a ‘legend’ to the generations born after its fall - L’ampar declared, staring at his half-full cup - I was there. I fought with the General. It was real, and it was dangerous.» His eyes were still cold, impossible to read, as he glanced up at me. «Perhaps, that’s why the Republic won’t believe the magnitude of the First Order’s threat. To most people, the Empire and the atrocities committed in its name are nothing more than _legends_.»

I did not know what to answer to that, so I said nothing. I wondered vaguely if Poe had told them about _her_ , the Horned Conjurer. I wasn’t sure if that would be considered a secret, a need-to-know-basis kind of information, and I didn’t want to make any blunder.

Luckily, Poe chose that moment to come back, with Wexley in tow.

«Hey, what’s with the long faces? - Poe asked, carefree and almost cheerful enough to hide a sliver of concern behind his grin - We’re together, we’re drinking, and we should celebrate! No sad thoughts tonight!»

«Poe’s right» Wexley agreed, placing his glass and Kun’s mug on the table. Poe did the same, setting down his own glass and a shabby plasteel cup full to the brim before hopping on the bench. He hadn’t been particularly careful with it, and I was shoved pretty brusquely aside.

 _Savage_ , I thought, eyeing the bulging veins on his exposed forearms as he pushed the ugly cup towards me with a somewhat bashful smile. _Hairy savage_.

«I’m always right» Poe chirped back, nodding at the cup I was still staring at and placing a hand on my shoulder. «C’mon, Hel. You’re one of us, now. Drink our disgusting swill with us.»

I didn’t expect the touch, and I expected the pet-name even less. I went rigid under his hand, staring at him with a frown.

Poe seemed to recoil a little under my gaze. He took his hand away, and the warmth and firmness of the touch went with it. I grabbed my cup to hide how much I missed it. Four months were a much longer time than I had thought.

«Alright» I answered, taking a sip to hide my confusion. It tasted vile, like pure alcohol and motor oil. It took everything I had not to spit it back out. «What is this, exactly?» I managed to rasp, after an embarrassing amount of time.

Poe, who was already halfway through his glass, smirked at me.

«Korniak spiced rum - he answered, deliberately ignoring my blank expression as I failed to recognise the brand - The best thing you can find this far into the Outer Rim.»

«It tastes like death - Kun added, casually laying a hand on Wexley’s shoulder - and it could kill of alcohol poisoning even a Tauntaun.»

«Drink carefully, if you are not used to it» interjected L’ampar, clearly worried about my delicate ambassadorial upbringing.

I lifted my chin high, taking another sip. A little one, calculated to make the cup last as long as possible.

«If Poe has survived so far, so can I» I declared, somewhat unwisely. I could only thank General Organa for letting me eat beforehand–the liquor was exceedingly strong, and it wasn’t going to my head yet only because I was drinking on a full stomach.

«Nothing can kill Poe Dameron, the best pilot in the Resistance - snorted Ziff, emptying his glass with a long gulp - That doesn’t mean we puny mortals can follow into his steps.»

«You can keep that puny to yourself» Wexley snickered, slapping a hand on his belly. He was clad in his bright pilot overall, and he looked strong enough to charge a Wookie. «Ziff’s still whining about that time Poe drank him under the table.»

«Helana is already stubborn and prideful enough as it is - Poe sighed, staring at me with the corner of his eye and the shadow of a grin on his lips - Let’s not give her ideas.»

I could only blame the indubitably high percentage of alcohol hiding into that blasted cup for what came out of my mouth straight after.

«As if I could ever be interested in a drinking context with you, Commander - I sniffed, slipping back into my old self without even noticing - I do not consider your ability to stand large amounts of this disgusting swill a set of skill to be coveted.»

Poe’s little grin flared up in a huge, obnoxious smile.

« _There_ you are - he snickered, tilting his half-empty glass to bump a toast into my still mostly full cup - Welcome back to the base, Helana. Glad to have you here.»

 _Here it is_ , he had whispered, eons before. _The animal within._

I fought a grimace, peeved and mortified at being so easily lured into a misstep. The memory of Poe’s voice from four months before was ringing into my mind like a bell, overlaying the voice of the real Poe, sitting beside me on a crowded bench.

«Thank you, Commander - I replied, in an even loftier tone, aware that I was just playing into his hand - Although I most certainly do not know what you mean.»

Poe bent slightly towards me, intolerably close. There was no space on the bench, and the warmth of his body was spreading to my numb limbs like magma on a volcanic planet. I could feel every point of contact like a bolt of laserfire–our shoulders, our elbows, our hips. Our thighs.

«You’ve learnt a trick or two since last time I saw you» Poe whispered, partially hiding his face behind his raised glass. «But it’s good to know you’re still in there. Arrogant and snotty and delightfully devious.»

« _Delightfully_ » I bit back, staring into his dark, dark eyes. They were shining even brighter than usual, thanks to the alcoholic poison Poe insisted to swallow, but they looked slightly dazed, as though he was peering at me through a transparisteel sheet. «Oh, my, Commander. I had no idea you were hoarding such complicated words inside your brain.»

Poe snorted. I realised vaguely that we were almost close enough to kiss, and I wondered if anyone had noticed. Or if anyone cared.

«You keep presuming, Helana - he grinned, dangling his glass from his fingers - Bad habit for a politician.»

Our voices had progressively gone lower and lower, and now we were practically whispering. I could smell his cologne, spicy and cheap and frankly awful, and it was taking everything I had not to reach out and push back into place the usual stubborn black curl that was dangling on his forehead.

I took a sip from my cup, struggling to keep my face straight as the revolting swill touched my tongue. It was a heavy decoction, strongly alcoholic, and disgustingly dense. I could almost picture the sickening slime coating the inside of my mouth, just as the alcohol hit my brain like a laser blast. The emerald wine was light-years ahead of that vile thing, but a glass of emerald wine every evening did very little to prepare me for that alcoholic deluge. It was like practicing to drive a Starfighter by pushing around a hovering gurney.

«And you keep charging ahead like a bull-headed bantha in a Kyber cave without taking the time to think things through, Commander - I purred back, tipping the rim of my cup against his glass - But I guess that is actually part of the job description.»

«Yes, I remember all those nice compliments you threw my way last time» Poe scoffed, taking another draught. His lips were shining when he lowered his glass, full and smooth and just as lovely as I remembered, and I fought to look away. Poe didn’t even try, gaze zeroing on my mouth as I bit my lip in the struggle. «Boorish, reckless, witless.»

«Don’t forget arrogant» I snapped back, trying to remember that we weren’t alone, and that the risible amount of alcohol I had consumed was not enough to justify that. Whatever _that_ was. So, I took another sip. Poe tracked the movement with bright, feverish eyes. He thumbed the rim of his glass, over and over. There was a light blush on his cheek, and I wondered, filthy and darkly, if he was hard in his pants.

«Yes - he growled - Arrogant. That makes for two of us.»

«Hey, what are you two whispering about?»

The voice shattered the moment like glass. I realised all of a sudden where I was, and what I was doing, and I pulled back as though someone had yanked a chain looped around my neck. Poe blinked at me in confusion, before staring at Ziff, who was very obviously drunk and very obviously looking for attention.

Wexley snorted so loud that I had to hide my face behind my glass to avoid a very blatant blush on my cheeks. The game I had been so clumsily playing had completely slipped from my fingers, and there I was–losing control over my own basic instincts in front of Poe’s pilots. Utterly mortifying.

Strangely enough, with the amounts of alcohol he had ingested, Poe was the first to come back around.

«We’re discussing politics over strategy» he replied, smirking at me with twinkling eyes. I ignored his grin, sipping as daintily as I could from my cup. «Helana feels very strongly about pilots.»

Kun lifted her own mug, bowing her head slightly as her face opened up in a huge grin.

«And we _all_ are very grateful for her _interest_ » she purred, eliciting another snort and an elbow in her side from Wexley.

«Do not be childish» L’ampar butted in, tilting his bald green head and nodding in our direction. «I could hear them, and they were indeed discussing about pilots and diplomats. In a way.»

«I can imagine» Wexley snickered, followed suit by Kun.

«That’s very interesting - Ziff carried on, staring at us both with a suspicious frown - But I was telling Loreen about that mission on Pasher we did a few months ago, and she doesn’t believe we actually started a riot. Do you remember, Poe?»

Poe sighed, but soon he found his good mood again. He seemed to be equally interested in sex and in his adoring public, and I didn’t know if I found the entire thing more off-putting or weirdly amusing. However embarrassingly heroic and dementedly altruistic Poe could be, he liked to have his ego stroked almost as much as his cock. I couldn’t deny how hilarious that was. Although perhaps not right then and there, I thought, as I clasped my thighs together and fought the needling discomfort that had been steadily rising between them during our argument.

The prospect of recounting his own valiant deeds had pushed me somewhat aside, and I was left to drink alone and forgotten as Poe and Ziff marched through yet another botched mission, that by sheer stupidity and blind luck they had somehow managed to pull through. Poe casted a few apologetic glances in my direction, between one lull in the narrative and the other, but I just smiled at him, sipping my disgusting drink. Poe had drained his own glass at the very beginning, and it had been refilled already twice by the time the rousing story was approaching to an end. Poe had become progressively louder and more agitated in his retelling, and even I could feel the alcohol swirling into my brain. One glass of that revolting swill had been enough, it seemed, to make me at least tipsy. Or more. I wasn’t sure.

What I was sure about, was that I wanted to touch Poe, and I wanted that right _now_. My skin was tingling with it, loose muscles fighting the gravitational pull of his body and dramatically failing. After finishing my cup, and politely refusing a refill, I had kept my hands demurely folded into my lap–and it was very, very, _ridiculously_ easy to let one of them slip aside, and brush its back against Poe’s warm thigh.

I stitched the very best bland expression of my repertoire on my face as Poe trailed off in his recounting, knitting his brows at me. Being subtle wasn’t exactly a talent of his at his best, and I was quickly discovering that I didn’t care much about what the other people at the table would make of it, after all. I was relaxed, at ease in a way that I hadn’t felt in years, and the prickling hunger surging under my skin was the only thing in the universe that held any interest whatsoever to me, right then and there.

I would have found such a blatant telegraphing of my need mortifying, in another time, another place. I was vaguely aware of that. _Bad handling of business_ , my brain helpfully provided. It was my right to choose a lover–but it was unseemly to let out how much that lover, _any_ lover, was needed. Yet, it was such a faraway thought, and Chandrila nothing more than a spot of green-and-blue brightness in another sector of the galaxy. Coruscant was gone too, its blinking lights swallowed by the perfect darkness of space. Every little splinter and crumble of diplomacy I knew was dwindling just as fast, as I sat with people who knew nothing of it, and didn’t care. I wanted my hunger to be satisfied, I wanted to gorge myself on Poe’s warm, delightful body, and I didn’t care in the slightest whether his pilots would know about my shameful need or not.

I had come all the way to their table to seduce myself a lover, after all. No one could blame me for doing just that.

«Don’t stop now, Poe! - Ziff all but yelled at my left, half-full glass dangerously tipping right over my lap - I’m about to jump in and save your ass!»

Poe blinked at me once, twice, then his clouded gaze shifted back to Ziff. Poe scoffed at him, shaking his head like a dog climbing out of a river, and just like that, his attention was once again rerouted from the single burning point of contact between our bodies to the rest of the table. He clearly thought the touch nothing more than a mistake, the alcohol dulling his senses and his ego doing the rest. A perfect combination.

His thigh felt firm and blazing hot to the touch, even through his trousers. I stretched my fingers, stroking yet more coarse, heated fabric with the back of my index. Poe was solid and real and as warm as laserfire against me, and it didn’t take long before my hand was slowly turning, palm pressing against the muscled thigh. It was a firm, exploring touch, that could not be misinterpreted as anything else than deliberate fondling. Even in his addled state, and with the irresistible thrill of everybody’s attention trained on him, I doubted that Poe could dismiss it.

And Poe, this time, did not disappoint. His breath caught as he stuttered, Pasher’s desert lords all but forgotten as his huge black eyes focused on my placid face. I glanced up at him through my lashes, eyelids drooping at half-mast, and smiled sweetly at his incredulous look. His parted lips looked slightly wet, and his thick eyebrows were furrowed on his forehead in something floating between surprise, interest and unadulterated shock. The hunger hit me, low and deep, as I stared at his mouth and thought about following the plump edge of his lower lip with the tip of my tongue.

I didn’t know how long we stayed like that, staring at each other in a silence as charged as a battery, but I could appreciate the distraction offered by Wexley. I didn’t really care anymore, but I was vaguely aware that our staring context might have been uncomfortable to witness for everyone present.

«So, what about the tribal prince of the Lathooli desert? Did they shoot him after the riot?» Wexley asked, trying to drag Poe back to his story. His voice sounded somewhere between amused and exasperated, but I didn’t know him well enough to be certain.

«Desert lord, not prince» Poe distractedly replied, gaze switching restlessly between Wexley and Ziff and me. The alcohol was reddening his cheekbones, and his eyes were blown wide and slightly glazed and as black as deep space. They focused on my lips, as Poe went on, almost dreamingly: «Don’t really know what happened. People were shooting and screaming everywhere, couldn’t make out much of anything. Someone dragged him off his throne, I think. Too far to see the rest.»

I hummed into my throat, as I slowly, slowly dragged my palm along his leg, until my fingertips could reach the vulnerable side of his inner thigh. Poe’s breath caught, and he let out something between a sigh and a hiccup. I was so close that I could feel the soft blow of his breath against my lips, the smell of alcohol almost overpowering–and yet, not as unpleasant as I would have thought. I saw myself licking the liquor off his tongue, pressing my half-naked breasts against the rough fabric of his white shirt. My hand twitched as I imagined racking my nails across his back, fingering his navel, brushing the dark hairs on his forearms as I traced the trails of engorged veins. A shiver trailed down my spine, eyelids dropping even more as I tried and failed to keep myself from falling into the gravity well of his body, shoulders and thighs and flanks pressed together, the muscles of his leg bunching up under my palm.

«What did you do, then? - I asked, delicately fingering the seam of his trousers - Did you deploy the patented Dameron strategy and charged the fray head first?»

I was wet between my thighs, skin tight and over-heated and damp seemingly everywhere. I wondered again if he had an erection to match. For a heady, crazed moment I thought about sliding my hand all the way up, cupping his crotch to see for myself. My palm was itching to feel the thickness of his cock, to grasp it in my fist and pump it slowly, to tear those gorgeous moans of his out of Poe’s throat.

Poe stared at me in silence, almost uncomprehendingly. I smirked up at him, tongue surreptitiously sweeping my lower lip–or at least, I _hoped_ there was something, _anything_ surreptitious about it. I had to keep reminding myself of the fact that we weren’t alone in my room, but in a very public space, with everyone’s attention trained on us. It was vaguely unsettlingly how often I had to remind myself of that simple fact. Whatever was in that disgusting swill ought to be banned from Republic’s territory, I determined in the muddled swamp of my mind. But not right away. There were more important things to do right then and there. I could send a missive to the Senate about the danger of Korniak spiced rum another time–perhaps when I wasn’t a hair-breadth away from palming Poe’s cock.

Nothing seemed to come out Poe’s lips, and no one seemed amenable to fill the silence, so I went on.

«Let me guess - I purred, hand slipping fully between his legs, palm pressing against his inner thigh, deliciously firm and piping hot - You crashed your ship on the whole lot of them. And there it went the desert lord of the Lathooli desert and the stolen data he was going to sell to the First Order.»

Poe took a deep, whistling breath, licking his lips. I tracked the movement with unblinking eyes, unable to look away. Another thing that undoubtedly ought to be declared illegal, I decided, as I thought about that same tongue licking its way down my collarbones, pressing against a nipple, pushing inside my walls. Plump wet lips sucking at my clit. I grasped his thigh, nails sinking into the coarse cotton of his cargo trousers.

Poe pretended to scoff, but he was gripping his empty mug so tightly I almost feared he would crack it, and the hand that he kept very deliberately laying on top of the table twitched in sympathy.

«Something... something like that» he grumbled. He had given up to whatever pretence he had been trying to keep, probably for my sake, and his dark gaze was now sweeping up and down my front, switching from my almost naked breasts to my lips.

It was then, at the very height of whatever tension had been brewing between us, that I decided to break it with a crash. There was a limit to the strain that my mind and body could handle, to the strain that _Poe_ ’s alcohol-addled mind and revved-up body could handle, and I wasn’t so far gone to find public rutting acceptable. Yet.

«What a wonderful story, Commander» I purred, rolling my shoulders slightly and putting some distance between our bodies. Poe made a little aborted attempt to follow, clearly confused by the hand I was yet keeping firmly on his thigh. «It was such a privilege to hear it from the very lips of the best pilot in the Resistance.»

Poe’s eyes flickered to my mouth, and I didn’t need any mystical power to know exactly what he was thinking to do with those very lips. His tongue darted out, wetting them slightly, and his dark eyes flitted up to meet mine. He seemed vaguely confused by the abrupt interruption, but there was something else underneath, like a spark of intuition. Maybe there was hope for him, after all. Or maybe he was getting used to what was turning out to be a pattern in our interactions.

«You should come here more often - Kun grinned, head slightly titled head and cheeks very pink - It’s a privilege our bold Commander dishes out with great generosity.»

I wondered for a moment if she meant only the rousing retelling of one of his blotched mission or something else, but I found that I didn’t really care either way.

«I am sure he does» I replied, aiming for a smile but ending up with a smirk. Poe shrugged, obviously uninterested in anything that wasn’t the fraying tension still buzzing between us. I stroked his thigh with my thumb, and Poe hummed approvingly in his throat.

«I was there too, if anyone cares» Ziff grumbled at my left, and someone chuckled in reply.

«Poe’s shameless need for attention is infectious, clearly» Wexley teased him, voice a little too loud. Ziff’s answering scoff was almost drown by Wexley’s roaring laugh, but the table by then was so noisy that only the ones sitting close were startled by it. Poe was still staring at me, the intensity of his gaze almost unnerving, the heath close to unbearable, but I realised with something akin to surprise that aside from Kun, Wexley and Ziff, no one cared. The people left at the table were too drunk to maintain their focus, and once Poe’s loud retelling had trailed off, the general attention had trickled away. Someone else was talking, another story was being told, and Poe had turned silent and uninteresting.

«I noticed that, too» I chuckled, low and inappropriately intimate. «Our bold Commander seems to find difficult, at times, to control his ego.»

«Ego is one word for it» Wexley snorted, and Kun hid a giggle behind her glass. Everyone was much drunker than what could be considered wise, myself included. The sheer lack of restrain and care seemed equally horrifying and fascinating to me, and I realised vaguely that I had never found myself in that kind of situation. I had avoided parties and public drunkenness at the Academy with the same distaste I would have felt towards a disease-ridden Chandrilan swamp-fly, and though I knew that my sober self would probably disagree, right then and there I could almost see the appeal.

But those were thoughts for another time.

«I think I had better retire, now - I declared, rolling my shoulders with a sigh - That Korniak spiced rum of yours was truly too strong for me. I fear I have made myself embarrassingly drunk.»

«If you can still use big words, no, you haven’t - Wexley laughed, meaningfully arching a brow at me - Not enough.»

I laughed, shaking my head.

«I would not want my reputation to be besmirched the very first evening I spend in your company» I replied, not bothering to hide a grin. Wexley laughed again at that, and even Poe was shaken out of his silent contemplation to gift me with a snort.

«You don’t have to go - he said, words slightly slurred but voice low, indecently sexual - Stay with us a little longer.»

 _With me_ , he meant. I could see it in his eyes, in the way he was staring at me, so intently he looked like he was trying to commit me to memory.

«I am afraid I must, Commander - I replied, deliberately stroking his thigh under the table - There are things I need to take care of.»

«Right now?» Ziff moaned, clearly horrified at the prospect of working after hours. I tilted my head, smirking at him, before glancing at Poe with the corner of my eyes.

«They are not the kind of things that can be kept waiting» I replied, earning a snort from Wexley and an oblivious shrug from Ziff.

«You’re not used to Korniak spiced rum, Hel - Poe drawled, munching on his lower lip as he stared at me through his lashes - Should I accompany you? It’s a big base, and you’ve only been here once. Wouldn’t want you to get lost.»

«I can’t believe this» Wexley scoffed, laughing at the same time, and I took advantage of the distraction to squeeze Poe’s thigh. He had slipped closer to me at some point, nullifying the distance I had tried to put between us, and was now straight up into my personal space–looking as though he was ready to pounce, and wouldn’t care one bit about whoever happened to be around. The room was stifling hot, and his proximity was doing nothing to help either of us. I was close enough that I could see the sweat beading on the exposed skin of his neck, tawny and smooth and irresistible, and for a moment I could think of nothing else but licking it away.

«Thank you, Commander, but I do not need a guide at this juncture» I purred back, several meanings piling up in a scathing handful of words. «General Organa has been extremely thoughtful, offering me the same room she had last time. I can find the way by myself.»

Poe knitted his brows at me, taking a vaguely thoughtful expression, before licking his lips meaningfully.

«I... understand» he murmured, and another black curl tumbled onto his forehead as he titled his head. The very beginning of a stubble was darkening his cheeks, and my fingers itched to feel for themselves whether his skin there would be rough or smooth. «I will see you soon, then. Ambassador.»

I searched his face for a little longer, and hoped, _really_ hoped, that he got the message. I squeezed his thigh once more, for good measure, and thought darkly that if he didn’t come into my room in a reasonable amount of time, I would go hunting him down myself. I would prefer not to, of course, but I wasn’t above grabbing a handful of those thick black curls and dragging him kicking and screaming to my bed.

«Still in training» I reminded him, mechanically. I gifted everyone with a smile, hoping it wasn’t as stilted and tense as I felt. My body was _screaming_ at me to just forget about everything and grind against him right then and there, yanking his hair back until I could sink my teeth into his exposed throat. «Thank you all for the lovely evening. It was most... instructive.»

«Don’t mention it, Helana» Kun chuckled, lifting his half-empty mug at me. «We don’t get to see Poe interacting with his diplomat _friends_ often enough. It’s always interesting.»

«Yeah, we wouldn’t want for his _diplomatic_ _skills_ to go to waste with the lot of us» Wexley added, smirking at Poe in such an obvious way that I had to fight back a chuckle of my own.

«Yeah, yeah–that’s enough, guys» Poe grumbled, but he wasn’t really annoyed. There was a grin on his face, and it turned softer as he looked at me, a not-quite smile.

«I wish you all a good night» I declared, brushing my pinkie against Poe’s crotch as I pulled my hand away. Poe swallowed air, as I felt for myself that he was indeed hard in his pants. It was with unmistakable satisfaction that I rose on my feet, swaying only a little, and offered him my hand. «If you would be so kind...»

It took Poe a moment to grasp my meaning, but then he was rising too, almost scrambling to his feet. His hand was warm and slightly clammy as he took hold of mine, but not uncomfortably so. It was strong, and wiry, with a square palm and thick, stubby fingers. As Poe helped me climb my way off the bench, I remembered with stunning clarity how it felt on my breast.

«Thank you, Commander» I purred, painfully aware of the thumb Poe’s was running back and forth across my knuckles. I hadn’t exactly needed help, but I wasn’t as sure on my feet as I would have liked, and I would prefer not to fall face-first on the floor in front of half the base. No matter how very drunk everyone was. «Good night.»

«Sleep well, Helana» Poe whispered back, gaze dark and burning. His hand was still clasping mine, and his touch lingered on my fingers as he slowly let me go. I nodded slightly at him, and then turned on my heels without looking back.

I could feel Poe’s eyes boring holes into my skull all the way out of the mess hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is currently **on hiatus**.


End file.
